Oh, so there’s a reason theatre kids run the wedding industry.
I’ve seen several of my former classmates and collaborators build great careers coordinating, planning, and orchestrating the magic of the Big Day. Now I understand why.
I’ve worked events before. A good percentage of my undergraduate classmates and I took “COM-350 Event Planning” as part of a minor in Arts Administration. In theatre, I’ve helped plan & run conferences, festivals, big-production parties, galas, and concerts… but after planning my own wedding, I see how obviously the skills transfer to all things bridal.
photo by Hannah Borders of Blooming Borders Photography
Weddings are the most fabulous of events, with nothing else really living up to the emotional and spiritual impact. Big budgets, drama & dreams — that’s a theatre kid’s cup of tea.
So if you’re thinking about moving into the Event Planning & the Wedding Industry sector, or just wondering if you can plan your own wedding, yep, I’m convinced theatre kids can do it all… and have fun doing it!
Here are a few lessons I learned in theatre that made all the difference in planning a (dare I say seemingly seamless) wedding.
Good casting makes a director look brilliant!
Theatre & weddings cannot be done alone, so working with the best team members available to you makes the experience. When you cast a show, you’re not just looking at talent or if someone looks the part. Directors also ask, “do I want to spend weeks of my life working with this person?”
Those are the same kinds of people you should involve in the core of your wedding process. I’m so grateful for my vendors, family, wedding party… and the best part, a leading man capable of carrying the whole show. ;)
Get Mentorship
For the marriage, prioritize pre-marital counseling. For the wedding, consult with former brides of all ages.
Do your research and talk through ideas with the people involved in making it happen. Guide the vision, but don’t demand the impossible or expect to control every detail.
Listen to your Stage Manager!
Or in this case, a Wedding Planner or Day-of Coordinator. You cannot be in a show and run a show. As a bride, I had no phone, no glasses, and no timeline in front of me.
Like all good theatre techs, coordinators show up in black, with fully stocked emergency kits, and go about creating the special kind of magic you don’t notice (until something goes wrong). It can be thankless work, so make sure to honor it.
Simplify & Over-Communicate
Be realistic about what you can accomplish. If you’ve worked in set design, you understand the labor needed to install something. In audio, you understand the complications of mixing live. In costuming, you know how long it takes to steam or press a garment. Plan accordingly.
People are also going to be human. Find creative ways to communicate with your unique players. Give them access to the big picture, but clarify their cues. Send reminders. Document everything in a way that is easy to reference in the moment.
Remember, your wedding exists in the real world. Build in margin.
Keep the Drama on the Stage!
Complaining & gossip ruins a rehearsal space. Assume the best about everyone’s intent and questions, and remember no one is doing your job for you. This “show” is your life, but it’s not theirs. If they’re there to support you, be grateful and patient. Be quick to ask for forgiveness and quicker to forgive.
Trust the Process
In every show there comes a point where the amount of work feels overwhelming, to the point it feels like it may NEVER come together… but it always does.
If you’re a theatre kid, you’re used to putting together a show in 1-3 months. We had 6 months to plan this wedding! Time expands to make space for everything, especially when you plan margin for collaborating with humans. There will be problems, but the show always goes on!
Let the script lead.
Refer to your vows to guide the process. It reminds you what the play wedding day is really about. The set, the costumes, the tech — they all support the story. Keep the main thing the main thing.
If you’re planning a wedding, cheers to the best opening night of your life. 🥂
I can’t promise you won’t remember the missed cues (they will haunt your perfectionism), but wrangling the chaos is so worth it. Break a leg!
